Why the FUCK do I have a conscience???

I mean seriously. I could be earning a fucking FORTUNE right now, but my stoopid ol' conscience will NOT let me. DAMN!

How could I be making a fortune? Carbon Credits. It's easy! build a website, charge offsets based on any old bullshit formula and the green-eco-mentalists will buy them to offset their pathetic and meaningless eco guilt!

DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! It would be so EASY to take advantage of these retarded fuckwits that believe all the enviroguilt bullshit. Christ, they will fall for any old bullshit. If they believe that EVERYTHING we do emits poisonous CO2 into the athmospere that is destroying our environment and killing those poor polar bears (who's numbers are shooting up like a motherfucker BTW) then they will fall for any BULLSHIT. Like those people that had a great laugh at a festival collecting signitures to BAN that dangerous chemical : Dyhydrogen monoxide!!! (yeah that's H20, or regular old water to you and me). They had thousands of signitures by the end of the gig. Thousands of people who (because they are good kind, yet gullible idiots) fell for the scam hook-line and sinker and signed a petition for a GLOBAL BAN ON WATER!

Why can I NOT do this, WHY???? I could pay off my mortgage in no time with this scam EASY, but my conscience just will NOT let me take advantage of the misdirected, gullible fuckwits that are being victimised by this evil global warming scam.

I guess that I am just too nice.

Here is some light comical relief by Penn & Teller by way of explanation.

Part one:


Part two:


Part three:


Please people, do NOT be fooled by rich hypocritical BULLSHITTERS (for definition of rich hypocritcal bullshitter: see AL Gore) selling salvation by way of selling you out of your guilt! Just Don't! Better yet, forget the enviro-guilt in the first place.

IF the Governments of the world really, and I mean seriously and honestly believed that CO2 really was the cause of global warming (in spite of the fact that the earth has been cooling for a fucking DECADE!) then instead of taxing the living shit out of us an inventing ever more ways to control us through fear, they would be acting together to take action in stopping the destruction of the earth's secondary-lungs and protecting the rain-forests. THAT is what they would be doing, IF the threat was real. It's not real and they know that it is not real.

The oceans (4/5ths of the world's surface) are the world's main lungs.

You wanna talk about off-setting, for fucking real? Protecting and restoring the rain-forests would offset EVERY journey in every petrol vehicle and every aircraft journey on earth!

The destruction of the rain forests is causing more environmental harm, than every SUV journey combined many times over.

What are global government's doing about THAT? FUCK ALL! So I guess that the man-made global warming scare is just so much BULLSHIT after all!